<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>What to do by Pretendimacarrot</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294553">What to do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pretendimacarrot/pseuds/Pretendimacarrot'>Pretendimacarrot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Nightmares, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Has A Heart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:29:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>958</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pretendimacarrot/pseuds/Pretendimacarrot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Once he’s in the kitchen, he grabs a cup of water. The little plastic cup belongs to his Morgan. It’s small and flimsy but he doesn’t trust himself to hold a more fragile one. His hands are still trembling. He wonders if he’ll even be able to fill it up and drink out of it without the water spilling over the edges.</p><p> </p><p>Tony wakes up from a nightmare.  He can't stop shaking.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What to do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning:  I have not written for this fandom so things my be inaccurate or OOC though i tried very hard to keep everything in line.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s not sure what to do anymore.</p><p>His head hurts, the bright orange sky burns through his eyes. He closes them, an attempt to ease the throbbing, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t help. The light still leaks into his eyes, and the pain follows suit to his head and somehow to his heart. His mind is completely blank, still in shock from what he just witnessed. The only thing that registers is the pain. It’s everywhere now and he thinks to himself, “Is this what he felt before he…before…”.</p><p>He can’t finish that thought.</p><p>And for a brief second, he wonders if he’s next to go. A flicker of hope blooms in his chest, followed by guilt. Death isn’t something he should be looking forward to but his mind is now starting to process everything, causing more pain in his body, causing his chest to tighten more and more and his head to throb and his thoughts to halt because he doesn’t know what to do!</p><p>He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if he survives.</p><p>So he waits for death.</p><p>His mind starts running faster and faster, finally catching up to him. The tears begin to fall out. One sentence repeats in his mind like a broken record “I lost the kid. I lost the kid. I lost the kid”. His chest begins to tighten and he feels like he can't breathe. Something in his mind is screaming at him to open his eyes but it’s a task far harder than he remembers. His breaths are uneven. He’s shaking and can't seem to stop and he doesn’t know what to do and why is the goddamn sky so-!</p><p>He opens his eyes, but he still can't see, they’re filled with tears. Quickly, he wipes them away with his sleeve. He sits up on his bed as the scene replays over and over in his head. He needs to fix himself up, splash some water on his face, drink some warm milk, but he’s still shaking and he can’t seem to stop. He doesn’t know if his legs will be able to hold him up.</p><p>He looks around and sees Pepper laying next to him. Her breaths are still shallow and even, thank god. He hopes it stays that way.</p><p>He thinks back to the dusty planet. God, why didn’t the kid just stay on the bus? Why didn’t he just stay on the ground? Helping the little guy and the old ladies and the lost cats? Things would be so much more simple…</p><p>Except, they wouldn’t.</p><p>It wouldn’t matter if he was still on Titan or on Earth. It wouldn’t matter if he was with him or with May. He would still be dead. Reduced to nothing but ash. Tony would still never be able to hear his voice again. He would never hear his stories about stopping robberies or drug deals or helping little kids find their lost pets. He would never-</p><p>Tony is shaking way too much now to keep Pepper asleep. He needs to leave the bed. He grabs onto the nightstand next to him and puts all his weight into it. Slowly, he makes his way towards the kitchen. His legs are starting to regain some of their strength. He doesn’t need to put all his weight onto the counters and chairs anymore.</p><p>Once he’s in the kitchen, he grabs a cup of water. The little plastic cup belongs to his Morgan. It’s small and flimsy but he doesn’t trust himself to hold a more fragile one. His hands are still trembling. He wonders if he’ll even be able to fill it up and drink out of it without the water spilling over the edges.</p><p>He turns the sick on and sets the cup right under. Part one of fixing himself up is almost done. Now to just drink. A small sip or two will do. Just something to take the ashy taste out of his mouth.</p><p>He hasn’t eaten any burnt marshmallows or even been anywhere near a fire, but the taste still lingers on his tongue. It shouldn’t be there, so why is it? Why can’t he catch one damn break? Why didn’t he stop him soon enough? He could’ve gotten the gauntlet off, destroyed a stone or two, and beat the purple bastard’s ass. It wouldn’t have been hard. Hopefully. And if bad became worse, he could’ve…he would’ve…</p><p>Would he?</p><p>He thinks back to everything he’s gained in the last few years, he could lose it all.</p><p>And then he thinks back to everything he’s already lost, everything trillions of others have lost as well.</p><p>If bad became worse, he’d take that gauntlet and use it himself.</p><p>His hands are still shaking but not as bad as they were before. He takes the water and chugs it all down. It’s a lot easier than he thought it would be. The ashy taste is almost gone too. Almost. On nights like these it never really goes away.</p><p>He hand washes Morgan’s cup and puts it right back where he found it. One night, she’ll wake up and catch him trying to drink out of it and she’ll laugh at how silly he looks drinking out of it, he knows she will. And her laugh alone will help ease the trembling enough so he can easily laugh with her. Then he’ll take her to her room and tuck her in bed for the second time that night. He can’t wait for that night.</p><p>He just wishes Peter was there to see it. The family man he’s become, living the domestic life out on the lakeside. He just wishes he’d known that he was the gateway to it all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Constrictive Criticism is appreciated :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>